Last week, I went to visit a friend of mine. She's one of "my people"... a tribe member where simple things can be said and we both know exactly what we are saying. My friend also faces a progressive and debilitating disease that has fundamentally shifted her ability to function as she did just a year ago. The world would called her handicapped. Politically correct assholes would call her handi-capable.
We call it fucking bullshit, and I openly tell her that I'm buying the next round of coffee because I can run faster than her. But that's how we roll.
So, last week, she tells me this story, and here is how it goes ( forgive me, friend, if I butcher this):
She went to the grocery store. Going to the grocery store has become a big deal because it's far more difficult than mundane tasks should be. This is the kinda shit that drives home the reality of her reality. My friend has canes to help her walk, so her struggles are pretty apparent to the world. Buying carrots should not be life-changing. But that's exactly what my friend was doing. Buying carrots.
A woman approaches next to her, and picks up some vegetable that is near the carrots. Said woman looks at my friend and the following transpires:
Woman: " Umm... have you ever use this?
Friend: "Fennel? Umm, yeah, but... well, I don't really like it."
Woman: " Ohh. Well, ya know.... I just wanted to tell you that I think you are inspiring."
Friend: "Umm... yeah... thanks. It's hard, but... ya know" (NOTE: I don't actually know if this is what she said... but that's what I see her saying in my head)
It became apparent to my friend that the woman came over, picked up an unknown vegetable with the specific intent of opening a conversation with my friend, just to tell her that she's an inspiration.
But here is where it gets good.
The woman then took the fennel, put it in her cart, and went on to BUY the fennel. She committed. She not only found an "in", but she stuck with it so as not to make it awkward... which was completely unavoidable.. and she bought, of all things... FENNEL!
So, on to the next part of this. Fennel is the Rush of vegetables. I said this to my friend and she instantly understood what I was saying -likely because I've expressed my strong feelings about Rush.
Curious? Don't worry- I'll explain. The band Rush is divisive. There are two kinds of people. People who LOVE Rush and people who HATE Rush. I am in the second party. Not only do I hate Rush, but I go out of my way to avoid people who LOVE Rush. Rush fans are aggressive in their pursuit to get you to love Rush. They trap you in cars and force you to listen to "this one song" that will somehow make you realize the error in your ways. When you explain to them that Geddy Lee's voice makes you want to take an ice pick to your eardrums, they will insist that you need to ignore that because Neil Peart's drumming is so amazing. And you can agree.... Neil Peart is an amazing drummer! But Neil Peart made some poor life choices by drumming behind what I can only assume is the grandfather of Calliou, because they are two of the whiniest voices to ever exist in the history of human-kind. So Neil Peart can be awesome, but he can't drum enough to make me love Rush, and you cannot shame me into loving Rush. Please stop. Rush is awful.
So, fennel is the Rush of vegetables. It's awful. People will try to convince you that it's not... but it is. They can spout off the laundry list of amazing recipes that somehow make the licorice-meets-broccoli quality of fennel become a rainbow of unicorns in my belly, but the moment I see a recipe that says " fennel", I nope the fuck outta there. Rush is awful. Fennel is awful. These are two areas where each side just needs to agree to disagree.
But this woman committed, and she bought the fennel- this awful vegetable- just so that she could tell my friend that she was an inspiration for buying carrots.
And here is the point: I want to BE that. This is a lifegoal. What in the world do I have to do in this world to be the kind of person that compels someone to buy fennel just to tell me that I inspire them? I know that this is what people who love Rush are doing... they are trying to find a way to give me something they think I need... even if it's in a way that makes me want to curl up into the fetal position to protect my flesh from a vocal assault that puts UV rays to shame. Their intent is good... I guess. But, in my friend's case, she was buying carrots... but I'm quite certain she wasn't aiming for "inspirational"... she just wanted a crunchy-yet-nutritionally-sound snack!
So, while I might make fun of this woman for committing to buying fennel, I have to give her credit for taking a moment to see something that not everyone does. My friend is an inspiration for buying carrots, and both of us are so very very sorry that you had to go home with such an terrible food as a trophy for your kind act.
You deserve better.
